Join Mike outside late at night, where he’s stunned to discover that they finally caught Jack the Ripper…like, a month ago. Isn’t anyone on the same news cycle anymore? Anyway, he’s devastated to learn that the truth of Saucy Jack’s real identity is much dumber than any theory has ever suggested, which reinforces his Rule for Life #2: Never Solve Your Mysteries.
Also, other rules for life, like Never Meet Your Heroes and Never Do Again What You Did Well 40 Years Ago, as demonstrated by Lucille Ball in her last sitcom “Life With Lucy”, but hopefully, will perhaps not be shown in “Spinal Tap 2”.
Join Mike in the studio late at night, where he asks why he was such an a-hole to a nice young Mormon on his own turf. This snark-by-default has deep roots, perhaps, in growing up in the Southern Baptist MLM groove, where every interaction was a sales pitch, a chance to earn posthumous perks.
Hear about what it was like growing up a Jesus Brat; how it was so hard to sell salvation in the South — a territory that had already been covered long before you got there. Also, why “cool” Jesus was another reason it was terrible to grow up in the 90’s, and how prayer protocol — or a lack thereof — continues to inflame my OCD to this very day, long after I stopped doing it.
Music for Tonight’s Episode: “The Stevie Shuffle” by Mr. Smith; “Beer Blues” by Koi Discovery | These two tracks were played under a Creative Commons License (Attribution, noncommercial, no derivatives) and are available at the Freemusicarchive.org. | All other backing tracks copy-free
Join Mike in the studio on a Saturday night, recalling the combo-pigment of “caution” orange and “piss” yellow that made the school bus so special. Also, how do I know where JD Vance got his approach to foreign diplomacy? Because he grew up in my era, attending the same public schools that valued wrestling over civics. Speaking of bad education, we gotta get our kids out of this bad area — especially as the new SecEd Linda McMahon is invited to use the department as her own personal RAGE room.
Watch The Midnight Citizen Vlog every Monday on YouTube and Substack! And be sure to join the Facebook page and find me on Instagram! …”It’s come to my attention that you’re not paying attention to the way you space the cans…”
Join Mike in the studio late at night as he mulls over the optics of our new, modern chaos. Not to get too political, but if Satan wants to really torture us for all eternity, he’ll need to do some redecorating in hell. Also, why the movie Eyes Wide Shut (1999) is becoming more of a documentary; the secret currency of the rich explains why we all hate Valentine’s Day; and how AI has made us that old man at Wendy’s training his 16-year-old replacement.
But some good news: The White Lotus is back on HBO, and Alabama has some of the best coffee in the world?
Watch The Midnight Citizen Vlog every Monday on YouTube and Substack! And be sure to join the Facebook page and find me on Instagram! …”But I know that I do love you. And I know there’s one thing we should do very, very soon…”
Please feel free to tell your friends and enemies! A new podcast drops here every Saturday night!
Join Mike in the studio late on a Friday night, where he screams all his innermost thoughts, desires, and shame into the void of a social media platform…and no, it’s not Substack. Also, what is it with Substack? Why do they only show people what you do when you say nice things about them? More paranoia linked to the tech industrial complex.
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Join Mike in the studio, where he recounts a tense haircut he recently had. Everything was fine until he suggested to the salon’s owner he install a barber pole out front to drum up new business. There was a deafening silence, and things went down hill from there.
Also, petty tyrants go global, the U.S. hopes to establish a homeland for tourism, and Moe’s rebrands itself an “outlaw” in the Burrito space. Now go out there and get a little queso on your chin!
***Listener Note: In this episode, I refer multiple times to Apple’s “Think Different” campaign of the 1990’s and early 2000’s as “Crash Different”. I don’t know why; I guess because it was so heavily satirized, most notably by my friend Hunter Cressell, who went viral for this video he made pre-YouTube.***
Join Mike in the studio on a Friday night, just in from seeing “The Brutalist”, a 4-hour long movie about a guy who builds a community center. Hear his thoughts, and stick around for more thoughts on his favorite movie of the year, “Saturday Night”. Also, “Curb Your Enthusiasm” goes to Washington, and Birmingham’s citizens get invited to join a cult.
Be sure to join the Facebook page and find me on Instagram! …”Is there no better description of a cube than that of its construction?”
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution Noncommercial Share-Alike US License. Attribution by Mike Boody. Released January 2025 on mikesbonfire.substack.com and February 2025 The Overnightscape Underground.
The Midnight Citizen in the morning! Join Mike for a Cup and lots of topics, including a shallow dive into why the Virtual Boy failed in 1995. Was it’s release on January 6th the worst thing to happen on that day in America? Also, reviews of some recent movies “A Complete Unknown” and “Flight Risk”.
Be sure to join the Facebook page and find me on Instagram! …”That’s not an MP, it’s a YP.”
Join Mike for his first show of 2025. On a cold, dark night in the suburbs of Birmingham, AL, he sits under a broken heater, blowing breath into the lonesome abyss, those thoughts preserved for eternity, or as long as Substack and the Internet Archive exist…
Be sure to join the Facebook page and find me on Instagram! …”You wanna shake hands with the devil? That’s fine with me — I just want to make sure that you do it in hell!”
