The Severe Repair Universe #5 (FN 3/4/10) 26.8
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The Severe Repair Universe #5 (FN 3/4/10) 26.8 (1:59:30 / 109.6 MB)
The Overnightscape Underground – March 2010 – Track 8
“Your Late Night Broadcast” online at onsug.com
Created by Frank Nora (frank@theovernightscape.com) in New Jersey, USA
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Frank talks about and reads stories from his original science fiction universe, “Severe Repair”. On today’s show – Cupline 1: Goodbye Popcorn: Chapter 10 – Negotiation, Chapter 11 – Millicent, Chapter 12 – Daptin’s Land, Chapter 13 – Zincler (conclusion to Cupline 1). Beverage reviews (“Black Lemonade”, “Nesbitt’s Orange”).
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License for this track: Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/3.0/us/). Attribution: by Frank Nora – more info at onsug.com
There’s another error before “dow.”
“Let’s keep it as an option,” Daptin said. “But for now, we’ll make due.”
The correct phrase would be “we’ll make do.”
I haven’t noticed very many errors in the text, but that one just sorta jumped out at me.
If you’re still interested in publishing the story as a real book, I suggest reading “Self-Editing for Fiction Writers.” It’s a great book and explains a lot of why Severe Repair doesn’t make sense.
Comment by Israel Brown — March 4, 2010 @ 10:50 pm
(I tried to edit my previous comment, but it didn’t seem to work)
When Daptin creates his land, it’s really not clear that many realities have crashed. Daptin only really mentions Arctica and Granticaine seems to just assume that Aconck is also gone. While it makes sense that the starting point would probably have been Aconck, I think more detail should be added somewhere. As far as I understand, Aconck isn’t even on the same Earth as Arctica. We can’t read Daptin’s mind unless you let us, but it seems that Granticaine can.
Why would the coffee or cup want to send him to Arctica? I thought the cup was in Daptin’s apartment and was most likely to bring him there. The only explanation I can think of is that, after Aconck crashed, the cup fell back to Daptin’s origin as a secondary destination to try to reunite itself and its coffee in a more stable place.
Another thought I had was how damaging it would be if that void Daptin had created his land in was originally Aconck and now overwritten.
Comment by Israel Brown — March 5, 2010 @ 1:06 am
Frank, I think you’ve finally cracked open your book and made it accessible. Enjoying it immensely in this format. Thanks.
Comment by Neal — March 5, 2010 @ 4:09 am