30:11 – Yahweh recommends a contractor and a sub-contractor to build the tabernacle and its furniture, prescribes drastic punishment for anyone working on the Sabbath, and gives Moses two stone tables with something inscribed on them, though not necessarily the Ten Commandments. When Moses descends the mountain, he finds that leaving his brother Aaron in charge was a big mistake, so he turns big rocks into smaller rocks and proceeds to commit atrocities on a Biblical scale. What god did the golden calf represent, and why was dancing naked around it considered an appropriate form of worship? Dave in Kentucky thinks he has the answers.
Show art: The Israelites Dancing Around the Golden Calf (1899) by Henri-Paul Motte (1846-1922), Public Domain.
29:47 – More instructions for how Aaron and his sons are to conduct the high priest’s office, more specifications for furnishings for the tabernacle, and recipes for oils and perfumes that are so special they are considered intellectual property. While the original Creator Elohim were concerned with Big Ideas, the Yahweh Elohim tended to micro-manage everything, including the exact procedures for dispatching the countless animals who ended up on the Holy Barbecue Grill. What’s the difference between a “wave” offering and a “heave” offering? How much was the annual half-shekel tabernacle tax in today’s dollars? And if sacrificing a lamb twice a day was purely symbolic, how come bread and wine was served with it?
Show art: Illustration from Henry Davenport Northrop’s Treasures of the Bible (1894) showing the High Priest at the Altar of Incense, artist unknown, Public Domain.
30:54 – In addition to the Ark, the Holy Candelabra and the Holy Coffee Table, the Yahwelians order the construction of a curiously oversized barbecue grill, made to a godly scale yet tended at least part of the time by a priestly class headed up by Moses’ older brother Aaron, one of whose vestments is a twelve-gemstone breastplate of “Lights and Perfections” (Urim and Thummim) which in concert with the Ark of the Covenant provides a means of communication when the Yahwelians are not physically present in the Tabernacle. Dave in Kentucky speculates on the nature of the code they may have used.
Show art: Part of an illustration from the 1890 Holman Bible, artist unknown, Public Domain.
29:46 – This episode presents Chapter One of the prequel to Raiders, with more chapters to follow as we progress through the Old Testament, and also deals with the design and construction of the Tabernacle, the Menorah and the Holy Coffee Table. Why was the Tabernacle just a big tent, and why did all its furniture pieces have rings and poles for carrying them? Did the Yahweh Elohim suffer from yeast intolerance resulting inungodly flatulence? Why do churches traditionally have such high ceilings? Why was the Ark even called an ark, since all that gold made it far too heavy to float? As always, Dave in Kentucky leads the speculative investigation into our distant past.
Show art: Moses and Joshua in the Tabernacle (1896-1902) by James Tissot (1836-1902), Public Domain.
30:00 – The Top One Hundred Commandment Countdown finally concludes, as Dave in Kentucky discusses the Golden Rule and Kant’s Categorical Imperative, the practice of usury, the origin of the Divine Right of Kings, the physical urges of the gods, the different types of justice, the basics of agricultural land management, the suppression of inconvenient history, the origin of the patriarchy and much more, including whether Moses went up in a cloud of smoke. Grab yourself a Manna Ready to Eat and get ready for some edification.
Show art: Moses on Mount Sinai (1895-1900) by Jean-Leon Gerome (1824-1904), Public Domain.
30:06 – Less well-known than the Top Ten commandments, and perhaps rightly so, are the Top One Hundred or so that follow. Dave in Kentucky isn’t quite sure which of these deserve a bullet, but he will break them down for you, including the ones about animal control, witchcraft, and bestiality. While the Top Ten were composed by the Big Idea contingent of the Yahweh Elohim, the remaining laws were apparently developed by a committee of legalistic bureaucrats, with uneven results.
Show art: Inspecting New Arrivals (before 1917) by Giulio Rosati (1858-1917), Public Domain.
30:01 – At the behest of the Yahweh Elohim, Moses sets up a security perimeter behind which the Israelites can safely view the spectacle of a Yahwelian ship descending in smoke and fire, and landing on a plateau atop Mt. Sinai. When the Yahweh have second thoughts about allowing the humans to breach that perimeter and mingle with the gods, Moses goes back down to ensure order while the speaker system of the gods blares out a Top Ten list of commandments. Dave in Kentucky provides the linguistic analysis.
Show art: “The Ten Commandments” Bible Cards (1907) by the Providence Lithograph Company, Public Domain.
30:36 – They say you can’t get blood from a turnip, but how about water from a rock? Dave lets you in on how it might have been done. Also, correlation may not imply causation, but it can be a pretty good indicator that of two correlated events, one may be causing the other. What is sometimes less clear, however, is which is the cause and which is the effect. “Go Israelites, beat Amalekites!” Finally, take your father-in-law’s advice and learn to delegate before you work yourself to death.
Show art: Moses Draws Water from the Rock (1642) by Francois Perrier (1590-1650), Public Domain.
30:17 – With their Egyptian pursuers all washed up, the Israelites celebrate on the shoreline. Sister Miriam is the hit of the party, and shows promise as a pop singer. In the days that follow, however, they must face the harsh reality that drinkable water, edible food, and usable routes are not easy to find. Fortunately they have friends in high places who can airdrop K-Rations, engineer massive gamebird kills, and show them how to purify water. When it comes to navigation, however, Moses and Aaron are on their own, and it takes them forty years to figure it out.
Show art: The Songs of Joy (1896-1902) by James Tissot (1836-1902), Public Domain.
30:02 – What did Moses forget that caused him to have to take the long way around to the Promised Land? Did the Exodus take place in Egypt’s Middle Kingdom, 2nd Intermediate Period, or New Kingdom? Which Land o’ Goshen city did the Israelites depart from, Rameses or Avaris? What “revelation” did Mark Twain have when he viewed the erupting Kilauea volcano in Hawaii? To what body of water does the Hebrew name “Yam Suph” refer? How would Mr. Wizard explain the parting of the Red Sea? Who issued Cecil B. DeMille’s Artistic License? Dave in Kentucky answers all these questions, and more.
Show art: Map of the Sinai Peninsula (1888) by the American Bible Society, Public Domain.
